Our Family’s Favorite Waffle Recipe



















































We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow
At a car dealership in Maryland to announce new seat belt legislation: “Belt your family. It’s the law.”
On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: “Rome wasn’t built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor.”
Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.
Seen in a health food store. “Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot”
At a Santa Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: “38 years on the same spot.”
At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”
In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”
Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.”
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
On the grounds of a public school: “No trespassing without permission.”
On a Tennessee highway: “When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
In front of a New Hampshire car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”
Sign in a shoe store: “Come in and have a fit.”
Sign in a maternity clothes store: “We are open on labor day.”
Sign in a non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
Sign on a front door: “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.”
Sign on a scientist’s door: “Gone fission.”
Sign in a butcher’s window: “Let me meat your needs.”
Sign on used car lot: “Second hand cars in first crash condition.”
Sign on fence: “Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.”
Sign in a car dealership office: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”
Sign over a cannibal’s hut: “I never met a man I didn’t like.”
Sign in a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.”
Sign in a science teacher’s room: “If it moves, it’s biology. If it stinks, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.”
Sign in butchers window: “Pleased to meat you.”
Sign on auto body shop: “May we have the next dents?”
Sign in beauty shop window: “Dye now!”
Sign on a garbage truck: “We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.”
Sign at a computer store: “Out for a quick byte.”
Sign on restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up.”
Sign in a bowling alley: “Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.”
Sign in a cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want.”
Sign on a music library’s door: “Bach in a minuet.”
Sign in a restaurant window: “T-bone steak $1 Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12″
A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: “Today’s special. Below it says: So’s tomorrow.”
Sign on restaurant window: “Great food (50,000 flies can’t be wrong).”
Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
Sign in school: “In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended.”
Office sign: “Ace exterminating – we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome.”
Sign at a muffler shop: “No muff too tough for us!”
Sign on a government issue car: “Fulton county disaster coordinator.”
Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.
Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! “To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted.”
Sign seen in London department store: “Bargain Basement Upstairs”
Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: “Closed for official opening.”
Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: “Please leave your values at the front desk.”
Sign in a hotel in Athens: “Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.”
Sign in a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: “You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Sign at fast-food place: “PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!”
Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: “Ladies may have a fit upstairs.”
Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: “Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.”
Sign from the Soviet Weekly: “There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.”
Sign in an East African newspaper: “A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.”
Sign in a Vienna hotel: “In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.”
Detour sign in Kobe, Japan: “Stop: Drive Sideways.”
Sign in a Swiss mountain inn: “Special today — no ice cream.”
Sign in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: “We take your bags and send them in all directions.”
Sign on the door of a Moscow hotel room: “If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.”























































































